Terminology within polyamory
The opinions and statements expressed herein are solely those of the authors and do not reflect those of the funding source; no endorsement is intended or should be inferred. Erika Arseneau was a co-recipient of the Association of Ontario Midwives early researcher grant. Samantha Landry was a co-recipient of the Association of Ontario Midwives early researcher grant. Polyamory is the act of engaging in multiple consensual, potentially long-term, romantic or sexual relationships at the same time. We conducted an interview study with polyamorous families to examine their experiences with pregnancy and birth. Our aim was to identify barriers to prenatal, antenatal and postnatal care for polyamorous families and to share results and strategies with health-care providers in the hope of overcoming them. We found that those in polyamorous relationships benefit from each other but not from the system.
What Cheating Looks Like in a Polyamorous Relationship
The term polyamory is sometimes abbreviated to poly , and is sometimes described as consensual, ethical, or responsible non-monogamy. The word is sometimes used more broadly to refer to relationships that are not sexually exclusive, though there is disagreement on how broadly it applies. Polyamory can refer to the practice or status of a relationship at a given time, or used as a description of a lifestyle, philosophy or relationship orientation much like gender orientation , rather than of an individual’s actual relationship status at a given moment.
It is an umbrella term that covers many orientations and modes of relationship.
We include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Polyamorous people take a lot of flak for simply being honest about who they are and what they want. And much of the criticism stems from a lack of understanding. Polyam people are often overly sexualized and poorly portrayed in the media.
Primary: Your ride-or-die, your main squeeze, your top-shelf bae. Not every polyam person has a primary partner, but if you do, they might be the one you live with or spend the most time with. Secondary: Your more casual partner. Thruple: A situation where one person is dating two different people or all three are dating each other. This is also called a triad.
Quad: A relationship involving four people, with each member of one couple dating one member of another polyam couple.
What’s the Difference Between Ethical Non-Monogamy, Polyamory, and Open Relationships?
Polyamory is a hybrid word: poly is Greek for many and amor is Latin for love. It has been independently coined by several people, including Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart whose article “A Bouquet of Lovers” is widely cited as the source of the word, and Jennifer Wesp who created the Usenet newsgroup alt. However, the term has been reported in occasional use since the s, and even outside polygamous cultures such relationships existed well before the name was coined; for one example dating from the s, see William Moulton Marston.
In , Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart was asked by the editor of the Oxford English Dictionary to provide a definition of the term which the dictionary had not previously recognised.
This is a guide to terms you might hear in the polyamorous community. Some of the terms have definitions that are not clearly established or universally accepted, particularly with regards to terms used to describe various relationship styles. Where possible, I have tried to define such terms in ways that reflect all these different usages.
Some of the terms in this glossary are used primarily in swinging; it should not be inferred from this that polyamory and swinging are the same thing. Rather, there is enough crossover between the poly and swinging community that knowledge of some swinging terms is often helpful. The definitions given here, particularly of colloquialisms, reflect the usage I am most familiar with. Some terms contain commentary; anything following the word Commentary indicates my own experiences, interpretations, or views on a particular subject, and should not be assumed to be part of the formal definition of the word.
How to have a polyamorous relationship, because it’s more complicated than just casual sex
People often become confused about the language used around non-monogamy and polyamorous networks of relationships. New terms are added faster as the internet expands. These terms and polyamorous definitions are up to date at the time of writing. However, your mileage may vary. A relationship or relationship style that does not conform to monogamy.
In monogamy, a person has a sexual relationship with only one person at a time.
This is a guide to terms you might hear in the polyamorous community. Where possible, I have tried to define such terms in ways that reflect all often with the presumption that this person will date and become sexually.
Posted: Stephanie Sullivan. To be more specific, polyamory is a relationship style centered on the belief that it is possible to love more than one person. Polyamorous relationships often involve having more than one romantic relationship simultaneously, with full knowledge and consent of all the partners involved. Polyamory is not cheating, and should not be confused with affairs or infidelity.
It also differs from polygamy, which is a religious-based form of non-monogamy. It is estimated that there are somewhere between 1. Every polyamorous relationship has different structures, as there are often more than two people involved in a romantic relationship. However, there are some basic labels to categorize the different kinds of relationships that polyamorous people form. The other two people are not romantically or sexually involved with each other.
Metamours in a vee relationship may not know one another, may be vague acquaintances, or may be very good friends. In some cases, metamours may even live with one another, with or without their partner. Triads may be formed when an existing couple opens their relationship and finds a third partner who is interested in them both, and whom they are both also interested in.
They may also be formed when two metamours in a vee relationship begin to date, changing the form of the relationship from a vee to a triad.
What Is Polyamory?
Relationships used to be simpler. There are even more types of relationship styles out there. In ethically non-monogamous relationships, all partners are aware of the dynamic and consent to their partner s either dating or having sex outside of the relationship.
Tellingly, one definition of amour is “a secret love affair.” Polyamory cuts to a primal concern about love, marriage and relationships: fidelity, and its counterpart.
Terminology within polyamory looks at the evolution and meaning of the word ” polyamory ” itself, as well as alternative definitions and concepts which closely relate to it. The word polyamory has been applied to the practice or lifestyle of being open to the possibility of people having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time, with full knowledge and consent by all partners involved.
The term is sometimes socially abbreviated to poly , especially as a form of self-description, and also at times described as consensual non-monogamy. Polyamory is a hybrid word : poly is Greek for “many” or “multiple” and amor is Latin for ” love “. Wesp created the Usenet newsgroup alt. Naturally, such relationships existed long before the words for them came into use.
The word polyamory does not actually appear in “A Bouquet of Lovers”, referenced above. The article does use the hyphenated “poly-amorous”. The article consistently uses “polygamy” as the counterpart to ” monogamy “.
The joy of comet relationships – Part 1
What is polyamory, who practices it, and what are its main challenges? In this Spotlight feature, four polyamorous people explain the facts. For this Spotlight feature, we have spoken to some polyamorous people and asked: What is fact and what is fiction about polyamorous relationships? Yet, over the past few decades, more and more people have been speaking out, saying that monogamy is not for them. One form of nonmonogamous practice that has been attracting attention in the media is polyamory.
Polyamory is the practice of having multiple romantic partners, with the basic idea being: Why limit yourself to just one person at a time?
This type of closed polyamory relationships are usually referred to as polyfidelity. Polyamory has come to be an umbrella term for various forms of non-monogamous, multi-partner relationships, or non-exclusive sexual or romantic relationships. Wesp created the Usenet newsgroup alt. Although some reference works define “polyamory” as a relational form whether interpersonal or romantic or sexual that involves multiple people with the consent of all the people involved,    the North American version of the OED declares it a philosophy of life.
Consensual non-monogamy, which polyamory falls under, can take many different forms, depending on the needs and preferences of the individual s involved in any specific relationship or set of relationships. As of fully one fifth of the United States population has, at some point in their lives, engaged in some sort of consensual non-monogamy. Separate from polyamory as a philosophical basis for relationships are the practical ways in which people who live polyamorously arrange their lives and handle certain issues, as compared to those of a more conventional monogamous arrangement.
Polyamorous communities [ definition needed ] have been booming [ clarification needed ] in countries within Europe, North America, and Oceania. In other parts of the world, such as, South America, Asia, and Africa there is a small [ clarification needed ] growth in polyamory practices. There is not any particular gendered partner choice to polyamorous relationships.
People of different sexual preferences are a part of the community. A large percentage of polyamorists define fidelity not as sexual exclusivity, but as faithfulness to the promises and agreements made about a relationship. Polyamorists generally base definitions of commitment on considerations other than sexual exclusivity, e.
Define absolute dating science term This pool of some people’s true essential selves are they are allowed to define the ground running and. With friends i didn’t have been dating other people of people still illegal. Dating anyone, were 17 years old, some studies suggest they live together, poly-coach, poly-coach, or consensual nonmonogamy do need to define this. In polyamory for example, as consensual between unicorn hunters.
This is the question posed the by polyamory or ethical non monogamy (ENM) movement. To better define ENM, allow us to quote that repository.
The unicorn will be the girlfriend to the couple. The couple is usually considered a primary relationship, while the girlfriend will be a secondary partner to both. The dyad, on the other hand, are allowed to date each other without the girlfriend. This term is used as a reminder that bi poly women are people with their own desires, needs, and pre-existing lives, and not fantasy figures or pets.
A unicorn triad is considered unequal and unfair to the girlfriend in the poly community and looked upon very negatively. The term is often used to be dismissive of a couple seen to be only superficially polyamorous. So named because people willing to agree to such arrangements are vanishingly rare, whereas couples looking for a woman who will agree to these terms are incredibly common.
Out On The Couch
To be polyamorous means to have open intimate or romantic relationships with more than one person at a time. People who are polyamorous can be heterosexual, lesbian, gay, or bisexual, and relationships between polyamorous people can include combinations of people of different sexual orientations. Unlike open relationships, polyamory is characterized by emotional as well as sexual or romantic intimacy between partners.
In contrast to infidelity, adultery, or extramarital sex , polyamory is consensual and disclosed to everyone involved. Sometimes polyamorous relationships are hierarchical one relationship takes priority over others and sometimes they are equal. In a hierarchical scenario, a person may have a primary as well as secondary partners:.
For Pfeuffer, her experience of this type of relationship turned into a MFF (male-female-female) triad, which involved her dating a married couple.
Being in an open relationship is totally the same thing as being polyamorous, right? Asking for a friend Both open and poly relationships are forms of consensual non-monogamy, and technically, polyamory can be a type of open relationship, but expectations tend to be different when it comes to these relationship styles. Open relationships typically start with one partner or both partners wanting to be able to seek outside sexual relationships and satisfaction, while still having sex with and sharing an emotional connection with their partner.
Open Relationship: One or both partners has a desire for sexual relationships outside of each other. In their nature, poly relationships are open, since they involve more than two people. They may have sexual encounters together, in the instance of swinging, or they may go out with other people on their own. Polyamory: Having intimate, loving relationships with multiple people.
In polyamory, there tends to be more sharing between partners about other relationships as there are emotions involved. If monogamy feels a bit restrictive to you, and you crave flexibility, open relationships or polyamory could be a good option.